Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
porn star boner night. come get it.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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