Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
