Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
