How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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