Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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