Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
