Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Randomize
