So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
