dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
