Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i will never coherently bang her
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Randomize
