He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
