so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Randomize
