We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
