You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
