pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I need water and some morals
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
