Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
