CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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