ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
