The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
