She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I've blown a few things in my day
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize