No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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