Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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