let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
