i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
