My first STD was from a foam party
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
