It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm passing your future prison.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
