She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
