Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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