the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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