I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
