Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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