"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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