So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
