We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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