when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just want to make out with him forever
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
