I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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