Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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