Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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