it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
