i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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