Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
