This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
