I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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