I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize