what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I love having hate sex.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize