.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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