Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
