I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Randomize
