I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
