i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
