Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
