Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
