Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
