Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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