Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
