i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize