No more Irish car bombs ever.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
