Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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