i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
