Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
is it fun? or sober?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
