Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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