singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
