I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
