areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
